ubriaco
today is friday.
and what does that mean, class?
nonjudgmental drinking hour starts
a lot earlier.
it's five o'clock somewhere.
or even later in some places
which means
we have to catch up.
i'm a drinking kind of gal.
i like mostly all beverages
beer
wine
champagne
rum
vodka
whiskey
tequila if its island time.
what i hate
is
mixologists.
i like fancy
but fancy doesn't need to take
ten whole minutes for something
i'm just going to obnoxiously pound anyways.
mixing bitters and whiskey
for eight whole minutes
makes my
old fashioned
old news.
so i have prepared for you
a quick
impressive
sexy as giselle on a summer day
cocktail "spritzer"
that will make panties drop
and mixologists eyes roll right out their heads.
the rosemary tangerine champ-tail
1 tangerine
2 sprigs of rosemary
champagne
vodka
ice
to initiate the joy you are about to receive, make sure you have a cocktail shaker and lots of ice. prepare yourself for the quickest fancy thing since the five dollar burger. take that shaker and fill that sucker with ice to the brim. if you feel like sharing, pour two overflowing shots of vodka into the shaker, this is also just about enough for a normal "mommy had a long day" drink. now we take that sprig of rosemary and brake it in half, tearing the leaves and tossing them into the shaker. take your halved tangerine and squeeeeeeeeeeze that bitch like your trying to arm wrestle it, making sure the juice gets into the shaker and not all over your arms because you're so strong. now, cover and shake. we are so close to alcoholic victory. pour your vodka tange rosemary concoction into a martini glass. feel the excitement as you pop that champagne, yeah girl.. pop it. now top your mix with the champagne and garnish with the leftover stick of rosemary and any tange slices you have lying around. now sip. or chug. and enjoy being a classy at home mixologist.
i'm proud of us.
we deserve this.
"ubriaco"
italian
"drunk"
